July 27, 2017

My Thesis Available for Download - Students' Experiences of the Scent Free Initiative

September to May of 2017 was a blur for me as I was extremely ill while completing my Master of Social Work thesis - but here it is! I did the thing!




Link -----> Students' Experiences of the Scent-Free Initiative at the Faculty of Social Work <----- Link
Go to page and click "download" on the right hand side.

Thank you to all of you who have supported and encouraged me throughout this process, especially other folks living with ES/MCS from online groups who offered me unconditional support through some very challenging times. In the coming weeks, I hope to create some more bite sized snippets of my research, to make it more accessible. This thesis is quite long and dense, but contains some important intersectional knowledge about how people respond to the access needs of the chemically injured.

Abstract:
This research project sought to explore how students experienced the introduction of a scent-free initiative within the Faculty of Social Work at Wilfrid Laurier University. An intersectional, critical disability approach is used to understand participants' experiences and to identify gaps in implementation, as well as recommendations for future policy development. Working from a transformative paradigm, this study used a mixed methods design, including an online survey and in-person focus groups. Findings indicate that social work students felt well-informed about the initiative, however they did not feel adequately knowledgeable about how to embody the initiative via scent-free practices. Participants expressed stigmatizing attitudes toward individuals with Environmental Sensitivities/Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (ES/MCS), highlighting a need for further education related to this disability. Overall, the implementation of the initiative went well, however there were a number of identified gaps including education, culturally responsive implementation, and clarity of the policy. The findings of this study suggest that policy needs to shift language from "scent-free" to "fragrance-free". Recommendations are provided for moving toward the full implementation of fragrance-free initiatives and policies at the Faculty of Social Work (FSW) and beyond. Implications for social work education, practice, and policy are addressed. Finally, this study has implications for the use of intersectional and critical disability theory within social work.

January 06, 2017

Computer Trouble

I am now in the last term of my graduate program and really feeling the stress of looming deadlines. I don’t have the capacity to push myself, there is nothing more to push. My body not only protests, it also revolts! There is no option to push through, work harder, do more, suck it up…
I must be ready to submit my thesis for review by the end of this month, so it all needs to start coming together now! I really got off track with my project this summer when I lost tolerance to the computer that has been safe for me throughout my program. Something went wrong with the machine during the heatwaves and since then, it just runs hot all the time. The heat from the machine off gasses a fume that sets off my reactions. I spent the majority of my summer trying to find alternatives and experimenting with various borrowed laptops, and being sick from experimenting. Seriously. That is how I spent my summer. I finally settled into something that was working for me in the fall term, but that involved working outside in my three season room. Now that it is winter, it is not an option to work out there. Moving inside to work on a computer that makes me sick has been a bit of a nightmare actually. Losing tolerance to computers puts so much of what I CAN do, at risk. I use the computer to communicate, hold video conferences, write papers, write letters, read journal articles and books, attend classes and appointments. It is the tool that has allowed me to continue to be connected to the community, and to make a living. It has been heartbreaking for me to lose tolerance to it and it has made finishing my project very complicated and overwhelming. And now facing deadlines…
Oy!
You just can’t imagine (unless you live with this!)
My partner, who provides a great deal of both tangible and emotional support for me will be away during the month of January due to a family emergency. This means that I will working through this month, getting sick on the computer, and also having to manage our household alone. Luckily, I have amazing people in my life who are willing to help pick up groceries, run errands, do the shovelling, which will make a huge difference for me. I am extremely privileged to have that. Many people with ES/MCS do not have that, or some have had it in the past, but slowly lost their supportive community over the years. I recognize my priviledge in having a partner.
It has been a challenging time and will continue to be a challenging time. I could really use some extra support, boosts of confidence, love, and validation right now because I am not even actually sure I can do this thing that needs to be done.
The last 50 yards are always the hardest, I know – but this feels almost impossible. I am trying to be open to the prospect of failure and convincing myself that failure is a valid option, and so is “good enough”.
I am so ready to be moving forward. This year, I will need to continue to explore computers that I might be able to tolerate, or I will need to just give it up entirely. In some moments I feel relieved at the prospects of living my life without a computer, and other moments I feel horrified. My body really just needs a break from computers and maybe once all of this is done, my body will recover from these exposures and I will be able to continue use the computer as my access tool again in the future. That is my hope.
In the meantime, I need to buckle down and flesh out my chapters, manage my health, and maintain my nutrition. I need to work extra hard to take care of myself and listen carefully to what my body has to tell me. This will pass. My partner will return. I will finish this project and it will be ‘good enough’. I will not have to pay for an addional tuition and all of this will be behind me by spring!
I hope.