Migraineville & Coming Out of the Dark

My home is generally safe for me, but it has not been for the last few weeks. There has been so much construction in my neighbourhood as projects are all rushing to get road work completed before the snow flies. I was having exposures from the constantly idling trucks and heavy-duty construction vehicles spewing diesel fumes day after day. My house is well insulated, but it is not impermeable. When it is toxic outside, it is also toxic inside. And when it is toxic, I am unable to do much of anything because all of my body systems descend into chaos on account of the whole 'canary' thing.

The construction was completed on Wednesday of last week and by Thursday I was well enough to focus on my work and put in a solid day. I have to take advantage of my brain function when I have it, because I just never know how long I will have it for. Things took a turn for the worst on Friday when I became incapacitated by a migraine. Migraines are certainly my least favourite symptom of all (with the exception of losing consciousness, because that sucks a lot too). 

http://headwisewoman.blogspot.ca/2011/01/creativity-keeps-me-sane.html

 I only ever had one migraine in my life prior to the onset of my illness and now I visit 'Migraineville' much more frequently. This weekend, I was essentially incapacitated from Friday evening until Monday early afternoon, but today I felt better – a LOT better. 

It blows my mind a little when I think about how my health can literally go from 0 to 100 (or the other way around) in a matter of hours and how confusing it must be to the people in my life. But when I feel better, I feel great! My energy levels, my brain capacity and my spirit just soar and everything is on.  

I often get migraines 24-hours following a significant toxic exposure. They last anywhere from 1 hour to 36 hours and they are entirely disabling. I literally cannot do anything but lay in a dark room and suffer it out. It is very boring. At least during a typical reaction, I can function well enough to feed myself, bathe, watch a movie, call a friend...but in Migraineville there is literally nothing but passing time, relentless pain and darkness. 

It is a total drag.

Coming out of that darkness can be a little overwhelming because when my health does return, I am really over the top happy and filled with so much joy and energy. It can seem extreme and confusing to people around me because usually people get sick and stay sick until they get well again and then they go on with their lives. I am not sick in this way. I am well and then I get sick and then I get sicker and then I get well and then I get sick and then I get really sick and then I get better and so on. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about the term ‘episodic disability’ – but that is a post for another day.

Yours in light, today.

 Canary in the Classroom.