What a Difference a Day Can Make.

Funny what a difference a day can make.  The day before yesterday I was thinking to write a blog post about recovery because I had been feeling so well, almost like back to my “normal”.  I’d been feeling clear-minded, the writing process was going really well, I was focused and had been symptom free for weeks.  I proactively made arrangements to Skype into my classes for the remainder of the term to avoid getting sick.  It is best for me to not go to class when I am facing deadlines with final papers because it is too risky for me. I learned this the hard way last term after an exposure at school at the end of October left me bedridden and housebound for a month and a half. I was even ahead of schedule with my papers this term and feeling really confident, healthy and strong.  
Until yesterday.
 

Sometimes I can't tell if my home is my safe space or my prison?  Both.

 
It is almost like I had a complete lapse in judgement and that I forgot that I have this illness.  Was I actually thinking that I could just GO SOMEWHERE and DO SOMETHING that I wanted to do?  I was sick within 5 minutes and faded fast into what I describe as a neurological stupor.  I spent the next 8 hours in a dense fog, unable to speak or think clearly.  I was weak and dizzy.  I laid in a detox bath (baking soda and epsom salts) for 3 hours and drank 2 liters of water in attempts to flush my system.  I loaded up on quercetin, turmeric and hemp seed oil.  I went to bed and woke up with a migraine and couldn’t move, so I laid there under the covers rocking and crying for four hours.  My partner texted me and told me to get up and eat and take my supplements, so I slowly made my way downstairs and made some food, grabbed the laptop, ginger root tea and got back into bed and cancelled my date to go for a walk with a friend.  And here I am again, in this bed, in pain trying (and failing) to focus on writing my remaining final papers.
And I just feel so sad, because had I wrote this the day before yesterday it would have read very differently.